When push comes to shove...

I was walking on the tredmill yesterday and I got angry. I got so mad I was fumeing. I was thinking about my life and how I have lived it. I was thinking about situations and how I handled them. The big question...why not me? How can people around me fight for what they want and get it while I sit and watch what I want walk away? Why don't I fight for what I want? Is there something wrong with fighting? I have been sitting on the sidelines for so long. Fighting is too messy, I could get hurt. So I sit. Well, yesterday I got mad. Rascal Flats said it best in their song Stand "...when push comes to shove, you taste what your made of, you might bend till you break, cuz it's all you can take, in the end you get up decide you've had enough, you get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, then you stand..." So often I wonder, why it is that I can fight for the innocent, but I cannot fight for myself. I have it in me! I have the strength to look deep inside and see greatness. I was created to be powerful "...the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead, is alive in me..." I need to show this world what I am made of. I need to keep getting mad at mediocre. I need to not settle for second best. I might loose a few battles, but I can still fight. I am still real. I am still okay.

Denise

A glimpse of my former self

I caught a glimpse of the girl I used to be. She seemed weak and unable to speak her mind. She, just sat there and let the situation happen around her, while the feelings inside of her bubbled like hot lava at the core. My journey has taken me away from her, but sometimes she shows up. Maybe she is there to remind me where I have been, or maybe she shows up to throw me off of the path. Either way, she is a part of who I am and she is a part of the journey. Life happens, I am still okay, I am still real.

Denise

Letter from a friend...

I have never seen my true self. I look in the mirror and see a reflection of who I am, I have never seen anything but a reflection. The image is made up of the reflection, but also the emotion...one moment I may see beauty, but the next I see ugly. I see with my eyes, but I also see with my insecurity. On valentines day I got a gift from a friend. A friend who has seen my worth, not with the eyes of a human man, but with the eyes of the heart of God. He sees me for who I am, not the reflection I wish I could be.

For my dearest friend, Denise

For someone who needs to know their value. You remain worthy of everything precious in life. You are a diamond that grows more precious as it remains unseen and when it is finally

revealed its benefits are innumerable as the stars. You deservedly deserve so much more than I am able to do. May God's good graces abound in all that you do this year

and every year. You bless the world with your presence...

The start of something beautiful...

"To know perfection, one must know imperfection" Renee Descartes

I have been on a journey for about a year now. A journey that has been full of hills and valleys. I have had days of elation followed by days of down in the dumpiest dumps. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month of this journey has made me who I am today. I am still real and I am still okay. This blog will be a way for me to share my journey, where I have been and where I am going. I invite you to come along with me.

Denise